Acceptance

As days turn to weeks to months to years

My light slowly dies with every shedded tear

I sink into despair sadness and depression

Like every time I try to get better its the opposite of progression

“You’re too much, you’re wrong, and I don’t understand you” 

 Every word is so heavy, if only you knew

I try my best to be important to people

Make a difference or even be seen as your equal

Someone you think of before saying such things 

A heart that you protect not stomp on without feeling 

I put myself aside to help others and not even get a second glance

Like caring for you is my job and I exist for only that instance 

But with the softness and love comes someone who’s so broken

Who gives everything to everyone but never gets chosen

It’s too hard to love me, too hard to understand 

Too hard for you to simply reach out a helping hand

With the bright light and emulating love that you feel from me 

Comes a sadness that’s heavier than you’d ever be able to see

Reaching for you gets turned away with disgust

“You’re emotional and dramatic” adding to the mistrust

I guess it’s inevitable that I’m not worth someones love

At least not unconditional, and that’s the one I’ve been dreaming of

When it’s too hard for you to hear

You leave me alone and think it’s sincere

All I’ve done is be there when you need me

But you’ll never take the time to truly just see me

The tears start to slow and I come to conclusions 

“No one could love someone that wants standards of illusions” 

Talk it out with me, hold me, and tell me everything’s ok

Still that’s too hard for most and they never choose to stay

“Move on from ever wanting someone’s full presence”

“I’m not worth their time”

Are my words of acceptance